(Editor’s Note: These are the words of Scott DeHuff provided to yours truly. I’d like to think I’m that eloquent but — only DeHuff can describe DeHuff, to be fair.)

This week was jam packed with truth – so sit back and get ready for the truth bombs!

I’m joined by the always goofy and equally high host of the Stoned Appetit podcast, Kip Wilson. Kip is fresh off his trip to Spain after covering their big cannabis convention – Spannabis.

I had to ask, “Who has better weed – Colorado or Spain”? With Kip being a weed connoisseur, you know this is a well thought out answer. Plus, Kip fills us in on the best place in the Denver Metro area to grab a breakfast burrito, a sandwich, and a hoagie.

I throw in my two cents when it comes to best Mexican restaurant, as I toss out a little known place in Thornton. This hidden gem will blow your mind with flavor. Also, what are the chances Kip tries to seduce Elon Musk in order to achieve an early retirement? He says chances are low, but I don’t believe him.

With my wife unofficially producing this episode, I’m sure she’ll be displeased with my performance. Classic, her.

After taking my dog to the vet, I’m reminded of my friend who tried to save money by attempting to express his dog’s anal glands on his own. Yeah, you read that correctly. This story still shocks me. Taking a family vacation seems like a good idea, but let’s be honest, they’re usually filled with stress. I ruffled some feathers as I called out the lucky parents that have children who actually listen. My wife reminded me of the annoyance of working from home with your spouse. In all honesty, she reminds me of this on a regular basis.

Rolls-Royce secures funds to develop a nuclear reactor for a moon base. Am I the only one that is a bit freaked out by this? My daughter may have a ghost in her room. Why do I think this? Well, due to multiple witnesses, it’s hard not to believe.

I vent about the constant Colorado traffic issues and who is to blame for them. It’s the transplants. There I said it. Somebody had to do it!!

My favorite adult beverage has to be an Old Fashioned. The problem is, it’s not always made correctly.
I found possibly the best made Old Fashioned tucked away in a Colorado Springs resort. I also discussed what I call a “culinary embarrassment” as I took my family out to lunch. This is a good reminder to all chefs out there to taste your products.

Elon Musk changed the auto-reply message on Twitter’s press contact email so that the sender would receive a poop emoji. I can’t help but think of how funny that is.

The New Mexico Department of Fish and Game are hiring a so-called “bear hugger” that has “the courage to crawl into a bear den.” This goes on the list of jobs that I’d never do.

Jimmy Garoppolo was offered “sex for life” by two workers at the Chicken Ranch brothel. I explain why it’s important for him to accept the offer, and how doing so could change many lives for the better. Tim Burton confirmed Beetlejuice 2 now in development, and that makes me extremely excited! Especially since Michael Keaton will be involved.

How do you know if you are drinking too much coffee? I give you the hard to swallow numbers. Get it? Hard to swallow – because you swallow coffee. Anyway, I’m pretty sure I drink too much coffee. A guy in Japan did an unspeakable thing to someone’s bicycle seat. If I say anymore, it will ruin the story. I really want to tell you too!! It’s so bizarre!

• World’s longest beard reaches 8 feet, 3 inches long. The maintenance of the beard makes my skin crawl.
• Man visits all 12 Disney parks around the world in 12 days. I explain why this is a horrible thing.
• A group of friends were rescued from the middle of the ocean after a giant whale sank their boat as they ate pizza. Despite them being victims, I cast my giant judgment net on these guys.
• Lady Gaga turned to celibacy in fear of partners stealing creativity from her vagina. I toss out the rumor that I made up during the podcast, that she tried to steal my creativity a long time ago.
• Under the FEAR category, a brainless blob capable of human-like behaviors has scientists absolutely stumped.